Remember the old codger who plopped down between me and The Fonz and ended up knocking The Fonz onto the floor? Well, he found himself a seat this morning without forcibly displacing any other riders; Lebeau won’t like it, though. Getting to this seat was a bit of an adventure for the guy; I remember it as if it were a meal ago…
I’m standing there playing Words With Friends while waiting for the train, The Scarecrow wandering feverishly and randomly around the train platform, when I hear some labored breathing approaching. I didn’t look up, assuming it was probably just The Scarecrow doing his morning calisthenics, or masturbating, or both. As the breathing gets closer, it really sounds like the “breather” is in distress. I look up and see that same old codger from before, wobbling down the platform, bent over about 30 degrees struggling to make it over to where I’m standing.
He’s hugging the wall of the Freighthouse, hobbling along like William Boyd in Hopalong Cassidy, reaches out for a railing, then leans on it casually while trying to catch his breath as if to say, “What? I’m just standing here leaning on this rail like a goddamn boss.” It was all he could do to get from the door to this spot on the platform–about 30 yards–and he sounded like he had just run the sprint of his life. Standing there leaning on the railing was too much for him, so he ended up sitting down on a curb. Was he going to pass out? Man, who could tell?
At about this time the train pulls up, and this guy works for Sound Transit counting passengers, so he’s got to get his ass up and over the the doors. I instinctively step aboard when the doors open, sit down, and pull out my laptop. I look up: oh my god he made it! The old codger covered the 15 yards between his seat on the curb and the doors of the train, but it sounded like it nearly killed him to do so.
He dumps himself into Lebeau’s seat and spreads himself out across the two seats in that space–he really needs a rest. If anyone needs the extra room, it’s this guy, but he comes off completely oblivious to the people around him who have nowhere to sit, just like last time when he was sitting where the bikes go, and when his ass shoved The Fonz out of his spot. This old dude should probably have a handicap parking sticker on the back of his Sound Transit ID badge to let people know how lucky they are not to be performing CPR on him right now.