You Had Just One Job.


Drifting a commuter train is harder than you may imagine.

CSX can move one ton of freight 400 miles a teaspoon of unicorn tears (or something like that), but Sound Transit can’t manage to keep the generator running long enough to bring us from Tacoma to Seattle in under 2 hours.

This poses an impossible question for Loogie Hocking Zombie and The Weebles: Get off the train at the next stop and catch the later train, or sit tight and just ride in on the disabled train?  Oh man, you’d think they were trying to decide between paper or plastic, boxers or briefs, soup or salad.

“The way I see it, as long as your moving you’re doing alright.  Just like the rabbit and the hare.”  So, LHZ is staying put.


A watched pot never boils, and a clock watcher never works.

Discussion shifts to how late they’ll be to work, and how much extra time they’ll need to work to make up for the delay.

“If we’re an hour late, I need to work an extra hour to make it up,” LHZ reports.  “Yeah, I’m serious.  I can handle making up 15 minutes, but an hour is a lot to make up.”

Now, I value my personal time as much as the next guy, but counting every minute you owe the company is pretty small.  The Weebles were right there with LHZ, though.  I’m glad people like this have a place to work, I’m even more glad that it’s not where I work, and I’m the gladdest because they don’t report to me.