That’s Not Asthma

by dawfun

Giant out of shape woman ran to catch the train and barely made it before we left. She is sitting just over there.

For a moment here, I thought I was going to need to pull the emergency stop lever because she was panting so hard. Sucking plenty of air, that run clearly kicked her ass: a hot sweaty mess with cat faces embroidered on her sweater.

Sitting with her friends now, she is carrying on a conversation and coughing periodically. She apologizes to her friends because of her asthma causing her to cough.

Ok. As a giant out of shape man, I can say with authority, this lady doesn’t have asthma. No inhaler in sight, and no legit asthmatic would be able to such that much air if they were having a bona fide attack, nor would their inhaler stay at home. No, this lady is just out of shape, old, and overweight. As somewhat of an authority in this area, I’ve been there, and like pornography to the Supreme Court, I know fat and out of shape when I see it.  I’ve had that same cough after running for the train as though my life depended on it.

Misrepresenting one’s choice to be tremendously overweight and out of shape as a life-threatening ailment, an ailment that you obviously do not have, is pretty lame. Asthma is pretty horrifying, and nothing to compare with simply being really out of shape. It’s the same when anyone elects to assign their own poor choices to some force outside of one’s control.

Failed high school? I’m sure it has nothing to with all the weed you smoked and homework you neglected. Let’s call that a learning disability. Nevermind people with actual learning disabilities who graduate high school every year.

Buried in credit card debt? Nothing to do with buying every trinket and trifle your heart desires, naturally. No, that’s got to be because someone stole your identity and is running around spending money like a drunken sailor. It has nothing at all to do with the three jet skis in the garage, the Mercedes in the driveway, or the beanie baby collection you just bought of eBay.

Why pick on Asthma Lady?  Because it grinds my gears to see people turning their own crummy habits and decisions into appeals for sympathy. Claiming a die medical condition when one does not exist is pretty scummy when your reason for doing so is to deflect the truth.

Was she seeking sympathy? Probably. Does she believe that she is really asthmatic? Probably not. Does she think she fooled anyone into believing her? Absolutely. Do I want to punch her in the face?  You bet.