Loogie Hocking Zombie plopped down next to me this morning, and tore into his mail: junk mail, to be exact. He was very proud of his ValPak coupons. While sitting on the edge of The Fonz’s seat and leaning…no…stretching out toward Momma Lovell, he holds each coupon up to The Weebles, as if to entice their inevitable envy while he shows off the treasures in his fat blue envelope.
Muttering not exactly to himself:
“Hmmm. Car Wash?”
Momma Lovell waves him off.
Momma Lovell chuckles.
“How about sun tanning?”
“Oh, I’ll take that one,” she says–not for herself but for her granddaughter…yeah, right.
He casually flips through the remaining coupons, then puts them away. Probably saving the best ones for his pal, The Fonz.
If you remember the “Hillbilly Bears,” you’ll recall “Pa” and how he spoke. You couldn’t really understand what he was saying except for a random word here and there:
“Merphl, gibber, sam, sam, PECAN PIE, flibble, perking, sam, sam, marfl, HUNGRY, sam, sam, bootle, jim.”
His boy would always be there to translate:
“So, you say you smell someone’s baking a PECAN PIE, and it sure is making you HUNGRY for your dinner, Pa?”
LHZ sounds just like Pa when he talks, but is slightly more intelligible. I’ll bet he plays the tree-branch-and-oil-can bass in church on Sundays.