Loogie Hocking Zombie and Momma Lovell are discussing the prospect that Louis Lebeau is an FBI agent. They’re pretty certain about it, and they are unimpressed with him sleeping on the train when he should be vigilantly protecting himself and the rest of us from a Terrorist Act.
I’ve learned two things about the FBI this morning as a result of LHZ and ML discussing Agent Lebeau. First, FBI agents are supposed to take a different route to work every day. “Agent” Lebeau is making a terrible mistake by riding in the same train, and snoozing in the same seat every morning. This is an important safety behavior so the Russian spies don’t ambush him some day on his way into the office. An interesting thought since he apparently didn’t notice The Evil Nazi standing right in front of him last week. Sounds like vanpools are verboten at Quantico.
Second, LHZ and ML are equally concerned about their own safety against Russian spies, or Terrorists, because they take a different route to work every day. (I’m still scratching my head on this one, since these two are on the same train as Agent Lebeau, and the rest, of us each morning.) This might explain LHZ’s aimless pacing on the train platform: it’s definitely harder to hit a moving target. Stay away from the cans, Mr. Zombie! The terrorists hate cans!
So, Lebeau gets on the train and Momma Lovell’s commuting partner is sitting in his spot. He turns to take his usual seat, and he finds his spot is occluded by about 33% of someone else’s butt-cheek. He pauses for a moment, and you can see the cognitive discord flash through his brain:
Alright, here’s the train, and I’m all ready to get on and sit down here in my favori….What?? What’s this? My seat is so much smaller than I remember it from yesterday. [looking around] Am I in the right place? What’s going on here? Weird. Well, I’ll just sit here anyw…Huh? What?? Who is that? Hey! Someone is in my seat! What am I going to do!?!? Where do I go? How will I survive? Who is this person? I know, I’ve seen her before, sitting right… OVER… THERE! The nerve of some people! Well, two can play at this game. I’m going to just take her seat and see how she likes it. That’ll show her who’s boss.
I’m very interested to see how tomorrow plays out with Lebeau and Momma Lovell’s travel partner. Will she go back to her usual spot? Will Lebeau need to adapt to a new routine (which he should be doing anyway, according to FBI regulations)? So many questions.
Note: Once Momma Lovell’s travel partner left the train in Tukwila, Agent Lebeau IMMEDIATELY took his usual seat. No hesitation. A true leader.